I got this email from my local email list of local gaijins and JETs. Maybe some of you can sympathize with his plight.

Dear Exchange,

My stubborn Suzuki Wagon-R is still here. A month ago, I was selling it; a couple of weeks ago, I was trying to get rid of it; now, with just 28 days til my departure from Japan and the desperation peaking, would someone please just take the freaking car off of my hands?

Yes, all you savvy shoppers, your patience has outlasted mine. The bell curve has reached its nadir and now it’s your last chance to buy low.

So make me an offer. Any offer (for your reference: I was fully ready to take the last offer of 4.5 man until the buyer backed out in favor of rental). If the sale isn’t closed by 23:59 7/24, it is going to my local Gullivers, where some bastards will take it from me for pennies and sell it to you for half a month’s pay and you will never find a car this cheap in this prefecture again.

But be forewarned: I may be desperate and a sucker but I still have my pride. If you try to lowball me after I basically just opened my door to lowball offers, I might just give the car away out of spite and malice. This is something I am entirely capable of, as I will go any distance and pay any price for the chance to say F&#K YOU MOTHAF!#$A!, just go ask the VP and the valedictorian of my HS, and that chubby Japanese kid who gave me a bloody nose at Taj ultimate. In fact, go ahead and lowball me, that would make the trip to the used car hyena that much more enjoyable.

Yes…excellent.

——–
Suzuki WagonR, automatic, silver, 94 (Heisei 10).
* Shakken until 2007/5/26
* Bought last October for way too much.
* Snow-tires.
* CD player.
* ~164,000km, previously owned by auto-shop owner.
* Available until 7/25.
* Yahoo Japan auto search of other similar WagonR:
http://autos.yahoo.co.jp/ucar/search/search.html?type=search&opt=1&p=%A5%EF%A5%B\
4%A5%F3R&price_min=&price_max=&pref=&year_min=&year_max=&mission=AT&btype=4&so=-\
1&sf=7
* Here’s a pic of the actual Rabu Wagon:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/59135919@N00/166851176/

“Hidden” costs
* The paperwork for transfer of ownership will cost an additional 10,000.
* Recently inspected and maintained, in good condition and no additional work required (front break-pads, AC belt, and windshield wipers recently replaced). In other words: nothing hidden here.
* Except for the freon. I guess you would need to replace the freon for the AC to actually cool–I’m okay with it though, I like to sweat.
* All the repairs+paperwork can be done by Matsui Auto in Daisen-cho.
* I commute 33 km to and from work daily. I pay about 1 man weekly for gas and that gives me ~430km. You figure out the mileage.
* Unlike rental cars, you will be responsible for auto insurance. For my case, I pay about 6100 monthly (but you would have to sign up for a year at a time).
* You may have to pay for parking at your apartment. I pay 3000/month.
* There is plenty of storage space and backseat room for unspecified activities.
* Your kocho-sensei might not like you driving this car. I dunno why, I do not engage in any unspecified activities at school but my kocho-sensei has taken extensive steps preventing my successor from owning this car. No really. Go ask Liz.
—

Yours truly,
xxx