We all struggle with the question of how Santa manages to visit every single house in the world, carrying gifts for every child, in the course of one night. The West explains the phenomenon with the catch all Magic Theory, that Santa is magic and has magic elves and magic reindeer to help him. This has the advantage of being able to explain nearly all logical inconsistencies with the midnight delivery of Yuletide gifts.

But the Japanese do not agree. Technically, “Magic” does explain how Santa can appear at so many shopping malls at the same time, but there was always something unsatisfying with this, wasn’t there. It never seemed very magical. Always looking for a chance to turn Occam’s Razor on it head, the Japanese have used the Shopping Mall Problem as a springboard for a new, more complicated explanation. They are operating under the Multiple Santa Theory, or MST, as the yulologists call it. Instead of one Santa, there are many. And they are all much smaller for some reason. Indeed, if this document is any indication, each is only about six inches tall. Furthermore, if this many tiny Santas (or clausitons) can be spared to decorate a single tree, they must exist in the billions. Now, shopping mall Santas do tend to be normal sized (if not larger), but the existence of tiny Santas may explain the reason so few Santas are sighted in Japanese shopping malls. Why so few Japanese children are worthy of the Santalets largess has yet to be answered.