Further to tlxtftrf’s (there’s a mouthful!) comment on JP’s Hello Kitty Air Purifier story: “make something Hello Kitty that actually makes sense, like a condom” obviously this intruiging concept needed following up.

Considering the fate of the now-rare Hello Kitty Vibrator and Badtz Maru condom products, I didn’t really hold out much hope. Still, there has been much speculation about a Hello Kitty condom around the Web. But only idle speculation, it seems.

Not too long ago, the Hello Kitty Hell blogger had a near-Kitty experience when he discovered an apparent packaged Hello Kitty condom placed by his computer (see photo). But this turned out to be merely misleading and in fact, masking something even more sinister still:

On closer inspection, it turned out to be something completely different. What it actually turned out to be is Hello Kitty cheese. Now, why they place the Hello Kitty cheese in packages that makes it look like a condom is anyone’s guess, but as you probably already know, I stopped trying to figure out anything Hello Kitty long ago. What’s more worrying is that my wife decided to bring me Hello Kitty food which I assume means she still has the “all Hello Kitty food” idea in her head. That, my friends, can mean nothing other than pure Hello Kitty Hell down the road…

Indeed. “All Hello Kitty food” is not a welcome concept–although it would be maximally kawaii. Apart from the Hello Kitty vibrator, Sanrio did briefly manufacture the infamous Badtz Maru condoms for a while–but both these items are (I think) long gone and available only as collectors’ items on eBay. You can see pictures of them here and elsewhere, though.

Warning: if you think that you ran across a photo of Hello Kitty condoms somewhere on the Web, the Hello Kitty Hell blogger says that these images were likely Photoshopped.

I think it’s safe to say that Sanrio will never market Hello Kitty condoms (probably)… But take heart, Sanrio makes more than enough other wholesome Hello Kitty products suitable for all ages!