![Erk!](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2413/2244670522_f363d8b36e.jpg?v=0")
Who cleans up those fetid pools of strange-colored liquid and piles of half-digested noodles deposited here and there in Tokyo’s train stations by people who literally can’t hold their booze?
Whose job it is to clean up after someone decides to check out of this cruel world by taking a swan dive off of a train platform?
These were the questions being pondered by JAPUNDIT reader and distinguished gentleman of style and good taste The Hairy White Prince (HWP), and so he headed off to seek the truth.
What he found out was absolutely amazing.
According to the HWP, the workers who are assigned the task of cleaning up human emissions are kind of like the Special Forces of the janitorial crew. No one else is allowed to perform their dirty work, for which they are paid 9,000 yen an hour, with a good chunk of their day spent basically sitting around with nothing to do until someone spews. Side benefits include a free pass for all JR and Shinkansen lines nationwide.
When I told Mrs. JP about all of this, she said, “Well of course, no one wants to do that type of work.” But not so fast. . . According to HWP’s report, there is a 3.5-year waiting list just to take the test to qualify for the job.
If you want something that opens up a bit quicker and pays more, you might want to consider joining the ranks of the folks who clean up human remains after an accident or suicide. These folks are paid a retainer of 360,000 yen a month, on top of which they get 12,000 yen per body when called in. The downside is that you need a four-year college degree in a related field, such as biology.
Check out the full report on The Hairy White Prince’s highly entertaining blog.
My father used to be involved in this type of work (suicide, homicide, and accidental death clean ups) and recommended it to me at one point as a way to make a large amount of money quickly. Of course in Wyoming (where he was employed at the time) only a state certification was required as well as a license to dispose of bio-hazardous materials. Said it wasn’t as bad as people think, for the most part, bodies were always removed by the authorities before clean up could begin. By the time you arrived it was mostly disinfection/demolition work. Even if you were the quesy type most of the deaths were hours old when found meaning the mortal remains were not as gruesome as originally.
First of all within a few hours after death, the blood congeals into a black jello like substance that no longer resembles the original liquid. intact organs are generally removed by coroners and brain fragments dry into hardend dry-wallesque substances that crumble into powder. For the most part cleaning meant removing carpet or furnishings and spraying everything with industial strength bio
The worst part, the reason he quit, was the month old accidental deaths (died watching tv and never seen until police came by to evict for not paying rent) that couldn’t be removed because they congealed into the floor and had to be disinfected, liquid vacuumed, etc. and then the floor would have to be removed all the way down to the studs. In addition all ventilation ducts would have to be cleaned.
Pay was higher that Japan’s converted wage and for the most part you could be your own boss.